Robber at Station 51
by Audrey Brackett
Summary: NOTE: This is a badfic--intentionally written to be so bad it's funny. Spelling and grammar are purposely bad sometimes!!! That having been said, there's a robber at Station 51. Oh, yeah, and Johnny gets hurt. What else is new?


AUTHORS: Bob P. Morgan and Kathryn J. Ravvin  
EMAIL: whataboutbob00@aol.com (Bob), Enigma806@aol.com (Kathy)  
TITLE: Robber at Station 51  
RATING: G  
SUMMARY: Um...there's a robber at Station 51. And Johnny gets hurt again. But that's nothing new.  
CATEGORY: badfic   
DISCLAIMER: La la la la la, we don't own the Station 51 people or the hospital people or anything from the show. But if you'd be willing to sell Henry to us it would be nice.  
FEEDBACK: Sure, it'd be nice.  
ARCHIVE: Yes!  
NOTES: sigh Another example of the wonderful twisting of literature at its worst. Admit it. It may not be good--but it's darn funny.  
  
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Johnny, Chet, Marco, Mike, Roy, and the Cap all woke up to the sound of the tones for squad 36. Even though it wasn't for them they decided to get up anyway. Marco and Chet went into the kitchen to fix breakfast, but before they could even get a bowl out of the cabinet, the alarm sounded.  
  
"Station 51 plane crash 406 Ladner road 4-0-6-Ladner time out 4:22. Kmg 365."  
  
They rolled out, when they got there they saw that this was much more than just a stucture fire nearly half the block was gone! As far as they could tell the cargo plane had been carrying nitro-glycerine and it had gone down in mid-flite and had hit a residental area and exploded into a milliun pieces. So they called dispatch and requested engine 126 foam 127 engine 127 and any other truck they could get their hot big hands on because their hands were really hot, except maybe Johnny's. They could clearly see they could use all the help they could get. When all of the sudden they heard a faint cry coming from a near by building.They ran all over the place trying to figure out witch building it was coming from . Almost two hours later they found out who it was and why they couldn't find the person inside a building. It was Johnny he had stepped on a tack.   
  
So Roy started setting up the biophone. "Rampart this is squad 51."  
  
Joe Early answered. "Go ahead 51."  
  
"Rampart we have a victem of a tack accident. Vitals are pulse is 89 b.p is 98 over 65 and respiration is 25."  
  
"51 start an IV with d5w tko, and transport as soon as possiple."  
  
"10-4 Rampart."  
  
When they got back to the station they noticed that a few thing s where missing later they found out that a few more things were missing. They all blamed Johnny because he was a well known Kleptomaniac.   
But Roy Knew that he didn't do it because he had been in the hospital for the past 5 hours, and he had the medical records to prove it beyond anybody's shadow of a doubt.  
  
It was late so they all decided to turn in. The next day they woke up and they noticed that some more things were missing including Henry. Henry was the dog and everyone knew Henry didn't run away because Henry never moved.  
  
Johnny and the Cap made lunch that day. Johnny set a new world recored for talking with his mouth full. Later that day Marco and Roy made dinner. They all went home while C-shift came in. The next day they all noticed that even more stuff was missing!  
  
"I'm going to put a stop to this," said Johnny. "I'm calling the police!" But then he kinda noticed that the phone had been stolen so that kind of sucked.  
  
"I'll be right back." Johnny went next door they didn't have a phone so he just gave up and came back to the station. He got back just in time to be hit by the engine as it pulled out on it's way to a structure fire.   
  
Roy raced to his side with a drug box biophone and dephibrilator. Rampart this is 51 Johnny has been hit by the engine is vitals are pulse is 87 respiration is 98 and b.p is 86 over 27. I don't think that's good, Rampart."  
  
"51 administer an IV with saline full flow and one of morphine and transport immediately. By the way, you're right--that isn't good."  
  
Later the hole station went to go visit Johnny in the hospital but when they got there he wasn't there. Roy asked one of the nurses where he was and she told him that he had gone to the big room upstairs. They all were about to cry when Dixie asked what was wrong.   
  
Roy told her the bad news. "Oh, Johnny's dead."  
  
"No he's not. At least I don't think so. Did he die and someone forget to tell me? That's not nice!"  
  
"But the nurse said that he had gone up to the big room upstairs."  
  
"And that's apsolluty right"  
  
"So he is dead. No he was moved to a bigger room upstairs. Room 212."  
  
"Oh I knew that."  
  
"Sure Roy sure."  
  
"See ya later"  
  
"Ok. Oh, and Dix?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
It was lunch time but after visiting Johnny they didn't feel to hungry, with all those tubes and wires. Later after dinner they went to sleep but not before putting out the evening structure fire. When they woke up the next morning they noticed again that more stuff was missing. This time the bathroom had been hit. All they're deoderant was gone so was their soap for the shower. So everybody had to take a shower without soap.  
  
When Joe Baker --Johnny's replacement--was in the shower the tones sounded so he jumped out of the shower, put on his helmet on and jumped in the squad. On their way to the fire Roy told Joe that he was naked. Then Joe realized that he was naked so he jumped out of the squad and ran back toward the station. On his way there he was arrested by Vince the police officer man dude person for indecent exposure. When they got back they, caught the robber taking the radio, the shower head, and the kitchen sink and the toilet.  
  
THE END  
(We think.)  
  



End file.
